Ch. 7: Abrupt Invitation
On the morning a few days after the accident at the mine…-.
Ruber seemed as busy as usual, and there hadn’t been a chance to have a leisurely conversation with him.
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Ruber: “…I just wanted to help the patients that were there in front of me. I was fed up with being tied down by those ridiculous obligations.”
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(Ruber looked so lonely when he said that.)
Bathed in the sunlight that streamed through the window, I spaced out and thought back to what he’d said…
Then I realized that the very person I had been thinking about was approaching from the other side of the hall.
OO: “Ruber!”
Ruber: “…oh, OO.”
OO: “Good morning. Where are you headed?”
Ruber: “Morning. Just into town…-.”
Ruber answered, then stared straight at me.
Ruber: “This is perfect. You come too.”
OO: “Eh…?”
Confused, I hurriedly chased after him as he walked away.
Ch. 8: Secret Clinic
In a room with the curtains drawn, the smell of disinfectant lingered in the air…-.
I had followed after Ruber and come to a small, old building on the edge of town.
(This is…)
A bed that appeared to be a hospital bed and shelves lined with organized medicine had me guessing it was a clinic.
Ruber: “This clinic was left to me by the man whom I called teacher. When I hide my social status and treat the people in town, I use this place.”
OO: “So that’s what it is.”
(Ruber’s teacher… I’m sure he was an amazing person.)
I was happy to learn another thing about Ruber and I looked at him with a warm expression.
OO: “Are you going to be seeing patients here today too?”
Ruber: “No. This clinic is closed.”
OO: “Closed… do you mean you don’t use it anymore?”
Ruber: “Yeah. Because there’s nothing else here for me to do in this country. I’m going to cut ties with the patients who rely on me and introduce them to private practitioners.”
(What does he mean…?)
The words he spoke with a level tone caused me to blink, but…
While Ruber’s cool expression remained in place, he moved with a business-like manner and locked the medicine cabinets.
Ruber: “I defied this country’s orders and treated the citizens, which my father… which the king has learned of. If I continue to act freely in this country, it seems my certification as a doctor will be revoked.”
OO: “That’s horrible…!”
At this unexpected information, my voice rose in heartbreak.
(Even though Ruber just wants to help his patients…-.)
Ruber: “Why do you look so depressed?”
Ruber looked at me curiously as I bit my lip, my head hanging low.
Ruber: “It’s my problem. It shouldn’t pose a drawback for you.”
OO: “I guess that’s true, but…-.”
I was frustrated that I couldn’t do anything for him, and it felt like a weight on my heart.
As I hesitated to speak, Ruber brushed back my bangs.
Ruber: “…what would you do if you were in this position?”
OO: “Eh?”
Ruber: “Would you stay silent and do as the king told you? Or would you hold fast to your conviction and fight back… which do you think is the right answer?”
Ruber turned his gaze on me, as if simply observing my reaction.
OO: “Why are you asking me something like that?”
Ruber: “I’m simply curious. Because it seems that, for some reason, your way of thinking differs from that of other people I’ve met until now.”
Ruber’s face was so close I could feel his breathing.
Ruber: “I have an overwhelming sense of curiosity when it comes to people like you.”
My breath was stolen away as I was pierced by those bright green eyes tinged with heat.
Ch. 9: His Answer
Only the sound of our breathing could be heard in the quiet clinic…-.
Ruber: “Would you stay silent and do as the king told you? Or would you hold fast to your conviction and fight back… which do you think is the right answer?”
I thought for a while about how I should answer Ruber’s question…-.
OO: “I don’t really think there is a right answer.”
Ruber: “…what do you mean?”
His eyes were scrutinizing, as if searching for my true meaning.
OO: “I mean… no matter which one you choose, you’ll have to give up something regardless, right?”
(I think that both his country and his conviction as a doctor are important to Ruber.)
OO: “If that’s the case, I would want to choose the option that would at least leave me without regrets.”
I spoke my true feelings, and Ruber blinked several times…
Ruber: “So basically, I should do as I like.”
As if understanding, he placed his hand beneath his jaw and murmured those words.
OO: “That’s not what I…!”
Ruber slowly shook his head, not paying any mind to me as I panicked.
Ruber: “No, it doesn’t matter. Regardless of how you answered, I’d already made my decision.”
OO: “…what are you going to do now?”
Ruber: “I’m leaving the country.”
There was no hesitation in his expression as he answered decisively.
Ruber: “Like before, I plan to travel while treating patients from different places. Fortunately, that in itself will allow me to build experience.”
OO: “But if you do that, won’t the king be angry…-?”
Ruber: “Do you think I care about that?”
The particles of light that came through the cracks between the curtain outlined his figure.
Ruber smiled, his expression full of meaning, and to me he seemed somehow more animated…
(I wonder if Ruber is much more gallant than I’d thought… or if he just doesn’t fit any mold.)
Despite being taken aback, I understood that that’s just who Ruber was.
Ch. 10: Surrendering to Desire
The sounds of moving things from the shelves into boxes in the clinic were strangely loud…-.
(If he’s going on another journey, then… that means it’s already time for us to say goodbye.)
As I helped with the work to close down the clinic, I secretly let out a sigh.
(I wonder when I’ll be able to see Ruber again.)
I felt depressed as I thought about it and wished that this moment would continue to last for just a little longer.
OO: “I hope we’ll be able to meet again someday but…-.”
I murmured those words as I looked at Ruber’s broad back, and he slowly turned his head to look at me.
Ruber: “I had planned on taking you with me.”
OO: “Eh?”
He said it as if it were the natural thing to do, and I reflexively tilted my head in puzzlement.
Then, his fingers came close and lifted up my wrist.
Ruber: “You’re the one who said I shouldn’t have any regrets. If we part like this, I’ll regret it.”
OO: “Does that mean…-.”
(Does that mean Ruber wants to spend more time with me, just like I do with him?)
I felt an uncontainable happiness rise inside me, and then…
Ruber: “It seems you don’t understand my intentions in bringing you here.”
Ruber put more strength into his arm, and my view suddenly shifted greatly…-.
Before I realized what was happening, he was pushing me down and I felt my back hit the bed.
OO: “Ruber…?”
Ruber: “Do you have a man?”
As I lay there shaken and flustered, Ruber looked at me calmly.
OO: “A-a man…-.”
Ruber: “A partner, someone you would call your lover or your spouse.”
(Why is he asking that all of a sudden…?)
At that seemingly simple explanation, my heart started to pound painfully.
Though I knew I should answer, my voice was stuck in my throat.
Ruber: “That look tells me you don’t.”
As if enjoying my reaction, Ruber let out a quiet laugh.
I was immediately captivated by seeing that bewitching smile up close…-.
OO: “…a-are you teasing me?”
Ruber: “Unfortunately, I’m not very good at jokes.”
I was somehow able to get words out, but sadly Ruber dealt with it.
Ruber: “I was thinking of seducing you. As a man, I harbor affections… do you understand what I mean?”
OO: “…”
(Affection…)
His fingers caressed the nape of my neck as I was unable to answer.
It felt cool, and I reflexively jumped slightly.
Ruber: “Your temperature is rising. And… your pulse is pretty fast. …are you in need of medical treatment?”
Ruber’s words were calm till the very end, but I could clearly see the passion burning in his eyes as he fixed his gaze on me…
As if being playful, his lips moved in and kissed my cheek, which made my heart pound even louder.
Ruber: “If our feelings don’t line up, say so. But if you feel the same as me… then just stay quiet.”
OO: “That’s awful unfair of you to tell me something like that…”
I tried to move to hide my flushed face, but his large hands easily stopped me from doing so.
Ruber: “Do you dislike unfair men?”
He whispered with a smile, and his breath brushed against my lips.
His gaze refused to look anywhere else, and it gave no indication of him lying or deceiving me.
(Even though I know there’s no way I could dislike it.)
Ruber: “Your reaction tells me more than your words could. …if you make that face, I won’t be able to stop.”
A rough kiss covered my lips.
OO: “Nn…”
While I responded to his forceful kiss, my vision began to blur…-.
(When he touches me like this, the fact that I don’t dislike it means…-.)
I became aware of the awakening of love within me, whether I wanted to or not.
Ruber: “I’m not very good at putting my own feelings into words. However… you’re the first person I’ve ever wanted to be at my side. Just remember that.”
His fingers slid over my skin as we kissed, and I couldn’t stop him…
(I want to be at Ruber’s side too.)
Instead of putting my desires into words, I wrapped my arms around him while taking in his clean scent.
END
Secret Story: Deciding to Leave the Country
The public square at the heart of the town was crowded with people as usual…-.
Private Practitioner: “Are you really leaving on another journey? But you just got back…”
I handed over all the medical reports and patient letters of introduction I could carry to a private practicing doctor, whom I’d known for a long time, and he looked at me with regret.
Ruber: “If I stay here in Remedium, I won’t be able to practice as a doctor. Even if I’m gone, as the third prince, it shouldn’t have any great impact on the governance of the country.”
The king, who always wanted to maintain peace whatever the cost, had finally run out of patience for the prince who did as he pleased.
He’d even gone so far as to threaten to take away my qualifications as a doctor and finally issued an ultimatum.
Private Practitioner: “I suppose this country must be a little constraining for someone like you, Lord Ruber.”
The doctor’s expression was that of philosophical consideration, and he nodded seriously.
(If I can’t examine the patients who need it, there’s no point in me being here. I’ll leave the country and do what I need to. At this point, I have no regrets…-.)
As I looked around the public square, I remembered coming here with OO a few days prior.
Suddenly, the time I’d spent with her afterwards came to mind…-.
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OO: “You’re a kind person Ruber.”
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(Now that I think about it, I haven’t gotten another chance to ask her why she said that. I want to know more about her, but… I wonder if OO would come with me if I invited her along.)
Private Practitioner: “Lord Ruber?”
Ruber: “What?”
Private Practitioner: “Nothing… it’s just that your expression just now seemed very gentle.”
(Gentle…?)
Given that I was unaware of it, it was only natural that I suddenly felt attacked.
Ruber: “…it’s just your imagination.”
I bid farewell to the doctor and turned to leave.
While sensing that the feelings I had for OO were slowly taking shape, I walked back towards the castle…-.
…
……
The sounds of putting away the fixtures and documents echoed in the quiet clinic…-.
Then, as the work to close up the clinic was nearly finished…
OO: “I hope we’ll be able to meet again someday but…-.”
(…what is she saying?)
I couldn’t believe those murmured words I heard from behind my back.
Ruber: “I had planned on taking you with me.”
OO: “Eh?”
OO tilted her head in shock.
(Oh right, I didn’t tell her about it. …it was selfish of me to think she’d guess at it.)
To officially tell her my feelings, I lifted up her delicate wrist.
Ruber: “You’re the one who said I shouldn’t have any regrets. If we part like this, I’ll regret it.”
OO: “Does that mean…-.”
OO’s eyes sparkled with expectation.
Ruber: “It seems you don’t understand my intentions in bringing you here.”
I put a bit of strength into my arms in order to properly convey my feelings…-.
OO: “Ruber…?”
Despite me pushing her down, OO didn’t look like she would try to run away.
(You’re so defenseless, it makes me worry. Or could it be you aren’t aware of me as a man?)
A series of complicated emotions boiled up inside me, and I calmly concealed them.
Ruber: “Do you have a man?”
Having crushed down my emotions, I directed the question I should have asked towards her.
OO: “A-a man…-.”
Ruber: “A partner, someone you would call your lover or your spouse.”
Perhaps finally understanding the meaning of my question, OO’s cheeks quickly turned red.
Ruber: “That look tells me you don’t.”
I had obtained the answer I wanted without waiting for her to respond, and I let out a breathy laugh.
OO: “…a-are you teasing me?”
Ruber: “Unfortunately, I’m not very good at jokes. I was thinking of seducing you. As a man, I harbor affections… do you understand what I mean?”
OO: “…”
(If I don’t tell you explicitly, I imagine you won’t fully understand. I want to know your feelings… but I wonder if that’s asking for too much.)
OO’s gaze was wandering, as if she was unable to calm down, and I placed my fingers on the nape of her neck.
At just that slight touch, her body quivered in embarrassment.
(I have high hopes if that’s how you react.)
This time, I placed my lips on her reddened cheeks.
Even still, OO didn’t try to escape from my arms.
Ruber: “If our feelings don’t line up, say so. But if you feel the same as me… then just stay quiet.”
OO: “That’s awful unfair of you to tell me something like that…”
Finally, having come up with a response, OO looked at me with bleary eyes.
(…I’m pretty sure you’re the unfair one in this.)
I traced down the length of her thin arms and stopped her from covering her face.
Ruber: “Do you dislike unfair men?”
Little by little, I worked to probe her heart, and gradually the mood was enhanced.
Our breaths intermingled as I gazed at her, and I wanted to know the feelings she was hiding.
END